Guilty Until Proven Guilty

Ok, I am not going to focus on whether the symbol of manly strength to millions of insecure right-wingers is, in fact, nothing more than an old, obese, flatulent moron prone to dozing off in public.

He is all those things, and those descriptors are among his more flattering characteristics.

Trump’s criminal trial may be the only of his myriad legal proceedings that occurs before the election, and it is the least important one. Still, many Americans are going to base their presidential vote on whether a jury believes that paying off a porn star from corporate funds is a bad look. After all the disaster, corruption, and death that the Trump administration instigated, this is the deal breaker for many people.

Hey, whatever works to get you on the right side of history. Many of these indecisive voters are likely the people who insist that “the country was really running smooth” [sic] back when a pandemic killed thousands of us weekly, people were rioting in the streets, and the international community was openly mocking America.

Those who are nostalgic for the Trump years believe that the economy was booming back then. This is despite clear evidence that the economy is doing much better now under Biden, and Trump’s economic record was decent only if you leave off what happened in the last year of his administration.

This is like saying, “My team had a slight lead into the third quarter of the Super Bowl, so ignore the fact they gave up five touchdowns in the last quarter. They won!”

In any case, if this trial sways just a handful of swing-state voters, we can all thank Stormy Daniels for her service to democracy.

But please don’t tell me how you plan to express your appreciation. I can only imagine.

Not Buying It

Back in November 2016, when our national nightmare was just beginning, media outlets shouted over each other that racism had absolutely, positively nothing to do with the fact that millions of angry white people had voted for a bigot.

It was just a coincidence.

Well, you’ll be happy to know that media outlets have learned their lesson, accepted reality, and are now reporting the unpleasant veracity that racism is a powerful motivator for Trump supporters.

Ha — no, they are still grasping for excuses, denying the obvious truth that bigotry remains a selling point for the GOP.

You see, the New York Times recently rehashed the 2016 election, and their writers acknowledged the myriad studies that showed Trump supporters were more likely to hold racist views. The Times journalists then stated that they “never found this argument to be persuasive.”

Doubling down on their disdain, the Times stated that the “racial resentment argument doesn’t look merely questionable. It looks wrong.”

So there you have it. The Times is not convinced. 

This is the same paper, of course, that was completely convinced that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. But the implication that much of Trump’s base has an issue with black people and Latinos? How gauche!

The Times rationalizes their bizarre opinion by asserting that liberals insisted that all of Trump’s supporters were racist. In actuality, liberals pointed out that there were other factors for Trump’s victory — including conservatives’ strange love of authoritarianism — and never said bigotry was 100% the reason. 

But the Times sniffs, “Yes, you did,” and goes on to point out that Trump’s popularity has risen among ethnic minorities, so therefore, racism could not possibly be, you know, a real thing.

How does one approach this smug denial? How do we argue with such impervious delusion?

If I said that Led Zeppelin was a hard-rockin’ band, the Times would say, “I’m not convinced that’s true.” They would point out that Led Zep also created ballads and acoustic numbers. Ergo, I’m lying.

I could point to Black Dog or Communication Breakdown or Immigrant Song or Nobody’s Fault But Mine and dozens of other rockers. And the Times would say, “Doesn’t prove a thing.”

Any Zeppelin fan would tell you that analysis of this type is bullshit. And they would also point out that Physical Graffiti is their best album, but I digress.

The Times’ dismissal of data, common sense, and Republicans’ own words has a simple motivation. It is simply too painful to admit that millions of Americans are unabashed bigots. It’s much more comforting to insist, as the Times does, that Trump’s “populism is skeptical of elites, political correctness, high levels of immigration and other forms of globalization.”

Yeah, that skepticism sometimes takes the form of razor wire across the Rio Grande, but are you going to call that racism? Come on, give the right-wing base a break.

The Times kicks around the “old racial-resentment story about Trump’s victory” by telling us that the “working-class group of Americans who have soured on mainstream politics and modern liberalism are not all hateful and ignorant.” According to the Times, these poor souls “are frustrated.”

To which I say, “Who isn’t?” Furthermore, I would like to know why frustration is an excuse to vote for racism. 

But I’m sure the New York Times would say I’m exaggerating.

Tell Me More

As I’ve mentioned many times — as recently as last week — I’m writing a book, and it has taken up the bulk of my creative energy.  Well, now I can reveal the specifics.

I am writing an analysis of the 1979 film The Amityville Horror for the publishing house DieDie Books. The book will come out later this year.

As part of the writing process, I’m collecting opinions about the movie and the concept of the supernatural. I would appreciate your thoughts. You can express your opinion by taking this short survey I created on Google Docs.

The survey will take about one minute, and your opinion will be part of the book.

Thanks for your help, and I will let you know when the book is published.

The Great White North

I was unable to post last week, which always feels like a knife to the heart and a shot to the groin to me. Yeah, I don’t like missing a week.

Who is to blame for my lapsed work ethic? Well, it was those sneaky Canadians.

You see, I took a brief vacation to the Pacific Northwest, and while I was at it, I left the country for the first time in almost 20 years. My international destination was Vancouver. 

I was so busy hiking through the Canadian woods, conversing with ridiculously polite Canadians, and contemplating how much our northern neighbors love syrup (apparently, they like it a lot) that I couldn’t get to the computer.

Also, my laptop was 1,000 miles away, which is a whole other story.

So that’s my excuse.

However, I see now why so many liberals threaten to ditch America for Vancouver or Toronto. The country is beautiful, the people are friendly, and you can get just about everything there that you can get in the USA — plus even more varieties of syrup.

As one Canadian explained to me, the nation is a social democracy, which means that the government works for the people, rather than for major corporations. He then invited me to immigrate to his fair country if Trump wins the election in November.

With hope, it will not come to that. 

I do wonder, however, why so many Americans insist that we live in “the greatest nation in the world,” when that is clearly not true. I also wonder why progressives like me are pilloried for pointing out America’s shortcomings, while a certain megalomaniacal presidential candidate sees his approval rating go up every time he insists that the United States is a failing state.

Also, I wonder why so many conservatives insist that limited government is the best system, when in reality, social democracies like Canada are kicking our ass on just about every sociocultural indicator. These nations are the very antithesis of limited government, and their citizens are thriving. Related to that, if small government is so majestic, why is no other nation even remotely interested in trying it out?

I wanted to ask a Canadian about all this, but they were too busy being productive and happy and enjoying free healthcare and being polite to an absurd degree.

So I came back to America, where people chant “USA! USA!” from their trailer parks and drop dead of preventable conditions at age 39.

It’s enough to make me want to move to Vancouver.

Those Kids Today

I spent much of the last month analyzing, criticizing, and ruminating on my generation (Gen X). I came to a rather depressing conclusion, which is that too many of us — especially the white guys — are turning into baby boomers. And let’s just say that I don’t have the highest opinion of that particular demographic.

But I’m down with the younger generations. Many studies have concluded that when it comes to politics, Millennials and Gen Z are “tilting left and staying there.”

The kids give me hope for the future.

Well, they did until recently.

You see, many young voters are threatening to boycott the presidential election.

“The collective vibe is hopelessness,” says one Gen Z voter, and while I empathize with her emotional state, her solution is absurd. Refusing to vote in November is like starving to death because you can’t get your favorite toppings on a pizza.

Another young voter says, “I don’t think the presidency has too much of an effect on what happens in my day-to-day life.” That mindset is so wrong, so impossibly naïve (yeah, I used that word) that it boggles the mind.

And yet another young voter says his decision not to vote will “send a message to the Democrats,” and force “them to listen to us.”

Yes, the Democrats will certainly notice that you didn’t vote for them. Of course, they will note this from the gulag that Republicans have thrown them into, and it won’t matter anyway considering that young people will not be allowed to voteagain ever, but Democrats will definitely pay attention to your hissy fit, young man.

Listen, middle-aged Republicans are willing to vote for a lunatic they freely admit is an embarrassment, a disaster, and a direct threat to democracy. They are relentless in their pursuit of victory.

But young progressives mutter, “I’m just not in love with Biden,” and skip voting.

This is how you lose a nation. 

Taking a principled stance that will, in the long run, destroy all your principles is insanity.

At the risk of getting all “back in my day,” let me tell you how dispiriting it was to be progressive when I came of age. We voted even as we were reduced to casting a ballot for Michael Dukakis, for fuck sake. 

But let’s skip the travails of Gen X. Consider that back in the 1960s, the Freedom Riders journeyed into the Deep South during the height of segregation. They faced the billy clubs and firehoses of white supremacists. The vast majority of the Freedom Riders were in their twenties.

Let’s go even farther back. When America actually hated Nazis, we sent US soldiers to storm the beach at Normandy. The average age of those soldiers was 26.

So to all the young people who claim they are too fatigued to show up in November, keep in mind that in previous generations, people your age literally fought fascists to the death.

Yeah, the least you can do is fucking vote.